tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3709671052477389617.post195047864219111994..comments2023-10-28T12:06:09.436+01:00Comments on Charlie Adley - Double Vision: 'I love you!' Three Little Words that can mean so very little!Charlie Adleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17063071455000195762noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3709671052477389617.post-4153025993410228202007-03-01T13:32:00.000+00:002007-03-01T13:32:00.000+00:00Sue from England says:About the whole Valentine’s ...Sue from England says:<BR/>About the whole Valentine’s thing…here are some thoughts:<BR/>My best Valentine - with my mates (helped I should mention by a mystery ring at the door half way through the night - no-one there, but a party bag of Haagen-Dazs ice cream and wine on the doorstep)<BR/><BR/>Worst Valentine - with the man I thought at the time I might marry! A so-called special night where he was cooking for me. To give you some background, he often cooked whilst I sat at the breakfast bar in his kitchen and we chatted about the day. Of necessity, he would have his back to me as he cooked as the kitchen was small and arranged that way. We always ate at the breakfast bar rather than the dining room table, which I had never seen used. <BR/><BR/>For this Valentine, we had agreed on a special night in, neither of us wanting to be stuck with a load of strangers in a restaurant. So I got dressed up....silk clothes, nice underwear... and waited for him to come and collect me, which he had said he wanted to do. <BR/><BR/>He arrived, in his work clothes, as usual, proceeded to cook a meal for me that he had cooked half a dozen times before, whilst I talked to his back, as usual. We ate, not in the dining room, but at the breakfast bar this time accompanied by an industrial size candle plonked on the table end. Somehow I didn't feel very special. <BR/><BR/>In fact I felt very un-special.<BR/><BR/>And that to me is ultimately what Valentines Day is about. Not about hearing 'I love you', but about one day in the year when you get a clear message that you are indeed special to the person you love.<BR/><BR/>I agree that by and large most women have a higher need for that affection (not romance) to be demonstrated. Most - not all. I know several women who would sooner save the cash to buy themselves a new bike computer than have half a dozen red roses, or any other kind of flower for that matter).<BR/><BR/>But isn't a loving relationship in part about giving the other a little of what keeps them happy? If we are in the realms of generalization, the same argument has held true for years about male/female sex drive. Surely, like many things, this is about a compromise, in this case between two different languages of love. It's not about an empty, mechanical gesture - that would indeed be pointless - and I've been given flowers that have quickly found their way to the bin for that very reason.<BR/><BR/>I would love to be in a relationship and not give a toss about Valentines Day. I would love it to be irrelevant. But, say what you might about your sex and your romantic-literacy, in my experience, if you actually do any of those spontaneous romantic gestures you write about, you are a rare breed indeed. And in the absence of the un-asked for, in the lack of random, spontaneous, personally-crafted messages, I'll take the asked for, structured, yearly serving. Just do it in a way that works for me and the man that I am with. It still needs to be personal. Give me an intimate evening at home with a bottle of wine and not a heart shaped cake in sight.<BR/>A man who takes me to a pink restaurant is clearly clueless about me – but if that works for you, fill yer boots.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com