Monday 22 March 2010

Vote now for a sneak peak at 'Do I Love Ireland?'

As regular colyoomistas will already know, I've just finished a compilation of my newspaper column 'Double Vision's best bits, as published in the Galway City Tribune and Connacht Tribune between 1992-2009.

The book is filled with bite-size funny chunks, hearty meaningful morsels and full-on philosophical feasts and now you can grab a sneak preview by voting for one of the chapters listed below. Just add a comment on the blog, saying which chapter you want to see a clip from, and whether you're looking for a laugh or something more mentally challenging to chew on. Once there's enough votes, I'll post a couple of excerpts from the winning chapter, so ye all can have a gander, a giggle or a groan.
Ah go on, you will you will you will...

Here are the runners and riders:

(i) Foreword by Michael Glynn and Brendan Carroll,
Editors, Connacht Tribune Newspaper Group.

(ii) Introduction.

1 Little People, Co. Mayo and other natural wonders.

2 It wasn’t me mate - I wasn’t there! My part in the Famine and other atrocities.

3 Getting Galwayed!

4 What exactly is an Atheist-Pantheist Jew?

5 Balls and ‘No problem!’ - the Irish attitude to service.

6 Pootles and holidays from heaven or hell.

7 Life, Death and Connemara.

8 Brown envelopes, Bertie and old beef.

9 Neutrality and naivety: How the Irish survived Dubya.

10 My body, blue bag and black dog.

11 Festivals and other frivolities.

12 How do I love Ireland? Let me count the ways ...

So there you have them, and now... the choice is yours. Hype shmipe baby, show me your clickers. Let me see inside your psyches, my colyoomistas ...

23 comments:

  1. I would like to see a clip from Chapter 11 Festivals and other frivolities. Actually more on the frivolities, please. Sounds intriguing.

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  2. Galwayed. Because I was there man, I was there!

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  3. You still are Allan, in case you hadn't noticed! And thanks JW, frivolities are a personal favourite of mine. I'll leave it for a week, and then see where we stand. Keep those votes coming people!

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  4. Galwayed for me, and a suggestion we get a drive going to get it into Websters: 'I was out with the lads on Friday night and I was Galwayed after it, what a great night'

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  5. Keefer, that's just the way it was meant! In the original piece, I said I had been 'well and truly 'Galwayed', and everyone who knows Galway knew exactly what it meant.
    Websters would be a great step - but I thought after all the mis-translations throughout the days of occupation, (see: Roundstone, etc.) you'd have had enough of Englishmen coming up with Irish terms!

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  6. I'm looking for a laugh AND something mentally challenging so please give us Brown envelopes, Bertie and old beef to chew on! hehe

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  7. Aha! At last - someone looking for politics rather than pints - thanks errr...Lucifer... or is that Mr. Mirror?

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  8. This is the first I heard of this! Best of luck with it. I vote for the Brown Envelopes chapter.

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  9. Thanks LightBulb. For a minute there I thought it was going to be a Getting Galwayed landslide, but now there's a surge for tales of power and corruption. Galway or the Dail Gombeens? Beer or baksheesh? Now isn't that life in Ireland...?

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  10. If I could I would vote for them all, but I will go with Galwayed, having been Galwayed, Galwaying and Galswaying.

    I'm after it all - stuff to ponder about and stuff to laugh about and I have no doubt it all abounds within these pages!

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  11. The wan about Mayo

    -from Old Del-boy or should that be Del, Old boy?

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  12. Hi Charlie, Chapter 5 sounds good.
    - Scottish John.

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  13. I would love to be Galwayed again....its been too long!!!!

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  14. Hi Charlie,

    The one about Services sounds like it might be quite funny! Nice blog, didn't know you were on here. Duh.

    take care,
    Claire-Louise xx

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  15. Galwayed it would have to be!

    I wos there man!

    I`m not there anymore but I am still there if you see what I mean.....

    Blitz

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  16. Thanks Del Boy for shouting for Co. Mayo - somebody has to, and there's a good reason it features in Chapter 1 - I love it as much as I love Galway!

    Thanks to a regular star of this colyoom, himself Blitz, as well as Dave R and Jenny , who collectively seem to long to get Galwayed all over again ... do we never learn?

    It's like a drug, this city. or would that just be the alcohol? No, it's not as simple as that. There's more to Getting Galwayed than pure drinking, inasmuch as there's more to soup than mere water.

    But there's a pattern emerging, rather like a creeping hangover: it's looking very much like Getting Galwayed is going to win this race - unless there's a late surge for brown envelopes... wouldn't mind one of those myself ( a brown envelope, not a late surge!).

    Keep those votes coming colyoomistas, and I'll post a winning excerpt very soon!

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  17. Aha! At last, two votes there for Chapter 5 - Clare and Scottish John, thanks for those - wouldn't have anything to do with your past experiences of working in the service industry, by any chance?

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  18. Give me chapter 4, 'Atheist-Pantheist Jews', I love them. As Ghandi said "I am a Muslim, I am a Hindu, I am a Christian, I am a Jew, I am an Atheist..." or words to that effect. I say simply "I AM" and may we all walk hand in hand for the sake of humanity, let us not be divided by creed.
    G, Hari Om

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  19. Bless you Guru, for your wisdom and for being the first person to choose Chapter 4. Regular colyoomistas are already familiar with your extraordinary outlook on life, so let's hope others now seek to share the steps towards enlightenment that you've shown this Atheist-Pantheist Jew! Come on Chapter 4!

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  20. Lets go with Chapter 5... Anything to do with balls has got to be worth a goo!
    Austin

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  21. Austin - Thanks for your vote, and would that were the case. Sadly I suspect the balls in question would be of no interest to you, they being inflated bladders of various shapes being kicked by opposing teams of hairy geezers.

    Chapter 5 is a mix of the 'No Problem' problem inherent in Irish service, and renegade tales of sporting nonsense.

    I may be wrong, but I'd be surprised if one so cultured as your good self knew your Mancini from your Murray, and even more surprised if you gave a damn. But a vote is a vote, so Chapter 5 is going well!

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  22. Getting Galwayed usually involved a visit from the amnesia express. It would be nice to be reminded...

    Whispering G

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  23. Thanks for the vote, but do you really want to be reminded, Whispering G?

    Actually, quite unintentionally, you've just helped me pick out the winning piece from the winning chapter! Oh so very apt to your comment,

    All will be revealed on Monday, unless there's a late run on any other chapter, which would be great.

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