(I've been overwhelmed by the response to this piece in the newspaper, so please only contact me if Eir owe you money, and you're happy to be included in a group file that will be forwarded to Eir's CEO and ComReg. Thanks.)
If it has only happened to me then I’m just unlucky. If it’s happening to many of you, it’s one hell of a scam.
After years of being obliged to be an Eir customer, I thought I was finally free.
They’d had me monopolised by the short and curlies for ages, overcharging me for calls that should’ve been part of my bundle and proving a nightmare to deal with.
When they ran Fibre broadband into my home, it was impossible to resist.
Due to that aforementioned monopoly, I’d no choice. Eir were the only provider.
At that time I was paying 427 different communication companies the GDP of a small country each month, so I sold my entire soul to Eir.
A landline, two mobiles, internet and, god help us, Eir TV, which has an interface designed by a blindfolded wildebeest.
To be fair, once they wholly owned me, Eir failed to overcharge me at all.
Then I was forced to move house, far from Fibre Broadband. It was the proverbial ill wind, as it allowed me to rid myself of Eir.
Or so I thought.
Naturally I was completely unsurprised that giving notice on my bundle was far more complicated than it needed to be. After a visit to the shop, several calls and emails, I finally received their formal confirmation of my cancellation request.
They said they’d cut off my broadband two days before the end of my service period, and the phones were going to go … well, they weren't exactly sure, but soon.
I just obeyed, even when the archaic sods demanded: “You must return all TV and Fibre broadband equipment to us within 30 days after your service is cancelled to avoid any charges.”
Do what? Send it all back? Nobody asks for that! You’re ‘avin’ a larf!
Experienced with Eir, I’d kept their original boxes, into which I packed all the required leads, cables, remote controls, prize rubies and deep-fried pigeon livers.
Weeks later they sent me a single Freepost address label, so I had to buy a mailing box, but not before I took photos of all the equipment, so they couldn’t charge for any missing items.
Sure enough they didn’t. They came up with a whole new and especially dastardly way of upsetting me.
Over the decades I’ve successfully fought for my rights against TalkTalk, Sky, Hertz and any other corporate entity that robs or wrongs me.
Unlike most people who have lives and better things to do, I will hang on for that extra 20 minutes and then send another letter to a CEO, as this newspaper allows me the opportunity to share these struggles, so you know you’re not alone.
Millions of us are screwed daily by despicable disingenuous global giants, so it’s important we know we are not a collection of lone victims, but part of an army that’s being slaughtered in the consumer trenches.
At some stage all these other companies acknowledged a problem, reacted and compensated.
However, as many DVs from the archive will attest, Eir are impervious to mere customers.
Finally free from Eir I settled into life in my new home, sure I’d escaped the one company that has always foiled me.
A few weeks later I received an email, saying my new Eir bill was available online.
What?
My account had been cancelled, my phone proudly carried another company’s Sim, while my broadband is now a combination of Chinese wizardry and a super-fit hamster on the roof.
I decided I could die happily never looking at that bill.
Then I received an Eir bill in the mail, saying they owed me €70.06.
A stream of unprintable expletives erupted from my North and South.
This is where I need to know if I’m alone, because if they’re creating credits with all their departing bundle punters, we could be looking at fraud.
I had done exactly what they asked. I’d delivered precisely the notice they demanded and paid every bill on time, and they had cut off all my services as and when they decided, so there was absolutely no reason for discrepancy.
The bill showed credit was due for part-period charges that ran beyond their own cancellation date.
Eir set all the timeframes, yet somehow contrived to take money from me for periods they knew - as they themselves had decided - I was no longer a customer.
My Eir horror was about to get worse. In order to have my phone call accepted, I was required to tap in either my Eir account number or phone number.
Ever vigilant, ever logical, Eir’s screening robot recognised neither, as both had been cancelled.
With the tenacity of a pitbull on speed, I eventually managed to find a voice with a heartbeat, who immediately transferred me to the oblivion of call waiting where, after 23 minutes of being told my call was important, I was cut off.
A few days later I tried again, explaining that they had essentially robbed me of 70 quid. If they didn’t put me through to a supervisor or deal with my request I would take legal action.
They refused to help me retrieve my money, instead insisting on transferring me.
In turn, I refused to be sent once more into their musical torture chamber.
Instead I wrote this, which will be cut out of the newspaper and sent to Eir’s CEO and marketing department.
I gave it everything I had, people, but so far have failed to breach their corporate walls.
Every month the bills still come. Eir are taunting me with the money they owe me.
Let me know if Eir have done this to you too.
It’s time we fought back.
charlieadley1@gmail.com
Charlie Adley
18.04.2019
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