Friday, 2 July 2010

Never Mind the Footsie index, I've got the Elbow Index!

My Dad used to say that it was never good when the Dow Jones index dropped below 10,000 and the Footise index fell below 5,000.

Last night on the news I saw that both had tumbled below these guidelines, but I didn’t care.

Why not? 

Well, apart from the fact that I don’t live my life in fear of what greed-crazed capitalist gamblers do in far-away cities, I have my own index - the Elbow index - and right now it’s looking petty good.

In my bedroom there are two tall Jameson bottle holders. Into one I empty my small change, and into the other I drop €1 and €2 coins. The former I never touch until it's full, when I empty it, bag up the coins and cash them at the bank. The other, the €1 and €2 jar, is the one I live off, dipping into it and feeding it up as much and as often as I can.

Sometimes it’s a long reach into the jar to find the level of coins.  When it’s nearly empty, I have to put almost my entire arm into it, before I can scrape a few coins out for a treat or a trip into town. 

When I only have to reach into it up to my elbow, things are looking good, and right now, there are so many coins in there I’m hitting metal just above the wrist. So the Elbow index is looking good, immune from speculation and international degradation.

This message was brought to you by Keeping Life Simple Enterprises. Coin jar levels may go up as well as down. The term ‘Elbow index’ is the trademark of the entity known as Charlie Adley and no other individual or corporate body. No terms and conditions apply. Just drop coins into the jar when you take your trousers off, and then reach into the jar and take money when you need it.

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