Wednesday, 10 November 2010

What exactly is a perfect oil level?

There I was, driving down to the service station to check Shaaanny car’s tyre pressures and oil level, thinking simple manly thoughts about how this colyoom has recently risked disappearing up its own philosophical arsehole.

Despite the promise of a couple of posts ago, normal service has not been resumed. 

The tyre pressures were all spot on, perfect, and the oil level was midpoint between F and E on the dipstick.

But then, erm, I’m driving to Knock airport and back, so she’ll burn some oil, so shouldn’t I put a half litre in now to make up for what she’ll burn?

Yes, yes, that makes perfect sense.

Perfect, except that the reading I’m looking at on the dipstick is perfect too. If I top up when the reading says perfect, then what the hell’s the point of perfect?

If perfect has cropped up on just the other side of midway, then midway is not the middle of everything. If there's no absolute middle there can be no absolute perfect, and oh wah wah mumma, here we go again.

Clearly this colyoom has not finished staring up its rear view mirror. 
Normal service, might never be resumed, but no doubt something will happen.
Hopefully when it does, it arrives entwined in a sense of humour, gord helpus and save us.


Dave R... said...

This column is perfect imperfection!

Charlie Adley said...

Well thank you kindly Dave R, that's perfectly lovely.

Paz said...

agree with Dave.
BTW what is normal service, what you called it the "absurdity of my own ponderings" of late is entertaining in its own right

Charlie Adley said...

Great - if I can entertain with absurd ponderings then I'll drink to that! Off to England tomorrow ... a break away for a few days .....

The Guru said...

Have a great break and keep the wonderfully absurd ponderings coming.

Here's a thought. Why is the term "you dipstick" derogatory? Surely a dipstick is the perfect guide;a representation of the 'middle way', the path to wisdom and freedom.

Charlie Adley said...

Thanks Guru - right now, I am in Bishop's Stortford library, about as English as you get - I do sometimes forget how lovely the English can be. Away from London's heaving metropolis, everyone I've met today has been charming, helpful and smiley wiley.

Mind you, that's after a few pints of Wells' Bombardier (in a dimple pint jug! YUM YUM)

Dipsticks - weird, now that you mention it. The inference is that a 'dipstick' is a stupid person, and yet, if there was ever a tool that cannot help but give an accurate, wholly sensible reading, the dipstick is it.

Nothing stupid about it at aLL. As far as the path to wisdom and freedom goes, though - I'm not so sure.... the middle way confuses me, as I explained above!